Dr. Robert Jaffe, Ph.D, LMFT

818-906-7079

drjaffe1@aol.com

Dr. Mitra Rashidian, Ph.D, LMFT, CST, ABS

818-745-1014

dr.mitra@hearttoheartcounselingla.com

Couples Counseling

Nurturing couples’ connection by exploring the compassionate realm of MDRT couples therapy

“My relationship is unraveling!” Regrettably, sentiments like these are all too often voiced within the confines of our office.

In our intricate human existence, we are interwoven as relational beings, reliant on one another for sustenance, connection, and personal evolution. When these vital bonds begin to fray, a profound sense of distress and mourning envelops us. Our fundamental desires for security and attachment become imperiled, compelling us to take drastic measures to mend the rupture and reclaim our sense of inclusion.

While encountering relationship challenges is a universal experience, their origins can be multifaceted. Firstly, a relationship might teeter due to an imbalance or one-sided dynamic, where one partner leans heavily on the other to fulfill their needs, commonly referred to as co-dependency. Secondly, the thread of a relationship could unravel due to toxicity or abuse, eradicating feelings of safety and autonomy. Lastly, a connection might falter due to a lack of harmonious communication and open discourse about shared needs and desires.

Couples seeking to fortify their relationship or address prevailing concerns can find substantial value in couples counseling. Our Multidimensional Relational Model of Psychotherapy (MDRT) provides a compassionate and empathetic space for couples to navigate a spectrum of common issues, including:

  • Challenges related to physical and emotional intimacy
  • Striving to enhance communication dynamics
  • Coping with a sense of emotional drift
  • Addressing disparities in parenting approaches
  • Confronting the aftermath of infidelity
  • Confronting the complexities of addiction
  • Tackling issues stemming from unresolved anger

Moreover, we specialize in addressing codependency, a scenario wherein one or both partners harbor an intense emotional or psychological attachment to the other. Such dynamics can emerge due to one partner’s need for support, catalyzed by an illness or addiction. The underpinnings of codependency eventually lead one or both partners to lose their sense of self, becoming solely focused on catering to their partner’s needs. Over time, this path can cultivate feelings of resentment and suppressed anger. 

While the decision to embark on couples counseling might present challenges, the process can bestow newfound insights and empowerment upon you and your partner. Engaging in candid discussions with us has the potential to be enlightening and transformative for your relationship’s trajectory.

Understanding Abusive Relationships: A Compassionate Perspective

An abusive relationship is characterized by the misuse of power to exert control over another person. This distressing dynamic can be categorized into two primary forms: physical and psychological abuse. Physical abuse encompasses actions that can cause bodily harm, involve nonconsensual sexual advances, or exert coercive control over essential resources such as finances or sustenance, and more. On the other hand, psychological abuse manifests through tactics like verbal intimidation, yelling, issuing orders, making threats, emotional manipulation, and taunting.

Defining what precisely qualifies as abusive isn’t always straightforward; However, mental health professionals concur that the impact of such behaviors on the partner is key in assessing the degree of abuse (Sperry, 2013). For instance, while disagreements are a natural part of relationships, their effects can vary widely. In some cases, occasional arguments may leave both partners relatively unaffected. Conversely, in other instances, these disagreements can inflict profound harm and emotional trauma on one or both individuals involved.

As a general guide, the presence of the following threats often indicates the presence of abuse:

  • Physical and emotional safety
  • Control over autonomy
  • Denial of access to essential resources

If you or someone you know is grappling with an abusive relationship, rest assured that help is available. In cases involving violence or non-consensual sexual behavior, it’s crucial to reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 without delay. Furthermore, we are here to provide support and guidance. 

Navigating Communication Challenges and Resolving Conflicts

Renowned psychologist John Gottman (1998) aptly coined the term “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” to elucidate the most prevalent communication issues within relationships. The presence of these four problematic communication patterns often serves as an indicator of underlying unhealthy dynamics. These horsemen include Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling.

Criticism involves being judgmental, insensitive, and using derogatory language toward one’s partner. Defensiveness, on the other hand, entails easily taking offense and reacting defensively. Contempt encompasses a sense of indifference or lack of caring towards one’s partner. Lastly, stonewalling entails the act of shutting out one’s partner, or refusing to engage in communication.

Recognizing these four horsemen is pivotal in addressing communication struggles within relationships. While they can be distressingly common in unhealthy relationships, it’s important to remember that with our MDRT model of therapy and dedicated practice, couples can develop effective communication skills and better meet each other’s emotional needs.

If you, your partner, or someone you deeply care for is grappling with communication issues in your relationship, reaching out for support is a courageous step. We are here to provide a compassionate space for you to navigate these challenges, mend the fractures, and enhance the quality of your bond with each other. 

Multidimensional Relational Therapy model (MDRT) of couples counseling is a type of psychotherapy that helps resolve conflicts, improve communication in relationships while enhancing intimacy and soul to soul connection. With couples counseling, you and your partner learn how to rebuild and strengthen your relationship, or decide to move in different directions.

Couples often turn to counseling, because they face emotional and physical sexual challenges. These can be profoundly difficult, and overwhelming for them to handle on their own. These struggles may involve issues with communication, unmet emotional needs, or differences in desires and intimacy levels. It’s crucial to recognize that these challenges are a natural part of any relationship, and seeking help is a courageous and caring choice. In MDRT model of therapy, couples are provided with a safe and nurturing environment to explore their feelings, fears, and vulnerabilities together, working towards building trust, deepening intimacy, and fostering a solid connection. With compassionate guidance, couples can learn to communicate openly, address their concerns with empathy for each other by recognizing when they are operative from ego, and when from spirit. This enables them to work through physical and emotional difficulties, ultimately paving the way for a healthier, more fulfilling, and loving relationship.