Dimension 5 – Trauma and the Loss of the Authentic True-self

• Do you sacrifice what you want and need in order to please your partner? If so, how often?
• Do you get into arguments that on the surface seem so trivial, but you feel as though you cannot give in?
• Do you believe that you or your partner overreact to situations and cannot understand why?
• Do you feel happy at times and sad or ‘off’ at other times and believe that you are at the mercy of your moods?
• Do you feel love for your partner at certain times and cannot stand them at others?
• Do you ever experience a feeling of disorientation, as though you are somewhere else?
• Do you love your partner, but sometimes or often feel frustrated at your lack of connection?
• When your feelings get hurt, are you able to forgive your partner, or do you store this as ammunition for future disagreements? What does forgiveness mean to you?

Often individuals enter into a relationship with one another, having many unexamined traumas as part of their unique life histories. These traumas impair the creation of their self-esteem, interpersonal skills, and ultimately the formation of their authentic true-selves. We call these impairments the adapted-self, or the co-dependent-self. Many marital conflicts are the result of these unexamined and unresolved traumas we carry within. This dimension’s primary focus will be on the impact of trauma on the individuals’ authentic true-self. The clearer we become about who our authentic true-self is, the more we have a roadmap to follow that enables us to overcome our traumatic past and embody our best core-selves.